RANT: The Love Bug Bugs Me

I've read several stories where the protagonist seems to have been attacked by a love bug that weakens them to the pheromones of aggressive, egostical men whose various saving graces are buried so deep it'll take several chapters to find them. The protagonist then deals with the poison by mentally slapping themselves for their own racing heart and giddy thoughts. This particular love bug can be found in all genres, not just Romance, though it seems to only ever bite women.

While there is a redemptive turning point for the man, either through his decisions or through a revelation of his past, the crush doesn't bloom at this point. In fact, this turning point seems to be mostly for the reader's benefit as it often doesn't affect the protagonist at all.

I think there must be a love bug involved because there are often other male candidates who are sweet, funny, and/or kind. They may even be strong without being overbearing. Someone who might tease the woman, but all in good fun. If they don't like the protagonist very much, they'll still be decent about it. These men are ignored, even when they show romantic interest, because the love bug's poison has the protagonist's heart ensnared by someone who is borderline abusive.

Now I'm not saying that an antihero-style man or a gruff, misunderstood fellow can't be a romantic lead. But perhaps lay off the love at first sight stuff and wait until they do something loveable first? Perhaps at the redemptive turning point?

What are your thoughts?

When Getting It Wrong Is Getting It Right

In South Australia, we have this thing called History Week every year where different organisations put on exhibits / plays / scenic walks, etc. around the state. This year, we're doing a History Month so we have all the more stuff to do spread out across an entire month. On Sunday, the first day, I had a few things planned to do. I was going to go on the Semaphore Historical Walk, see the Port Misery re-enactment landings in Port Adelaide, and finally nip on down to the St. John's Ambulance exhibit.

So my fiance and I wake up with 35 minutes to spare and get at the bus stop a minute too late (I got to see the bus leave without me). We get into the city and it's all rainy but we sit under the stop and wait for the next bus feeling sad that we won't make it to Semaphore in time for the walk. We get a phone call saying that it's cancelled because of the weather.

We head on down to Port Adelaide for the Port Misery landings (finally) after a toilet break led us to miss yet another bus (we got to see that bus leaving too). We're walking down the street, figuring that somehow we'll find Fisherman's Wharf where the re-enactments are meant to be. I mean, it'd be somewhere along the Port River, easy, right? Being a bit unsure about how easy it'd be, we drop by the Port Adelaide Information Center (which is pretty cool, actually) and ask the lady behind the counter where the Port Misery landings are and whether they'd still be on despite the weather.

We get directed into a nearby covered courtyard ... where the May Day rally is taking place. We watch and listen to the speeches (very rousing) and watch them put flowers by the memorial in the rain and then decide to just follow Commercial Road and see what we find.

I'm not sure if we found Fisherman's Wharf but we did find a huge warehouse full of stalls selling 2nd hand and cut-price goods. We met up with friends and spent about 4 hours spending $200 there on all kinds of things from books to clothes (I tease my fiance about looking very Chav in his new hoody) to antique pennies. By the time we leave, I look at my watch and ... oh dear, there's no way we'll get to the St. John's exhibit before closing.

So instead we go home with our friends and watch Fantastic Mr. Fox.

Even though we never got to see any of what we meant to see, even though we missed our bus, even though things were cancelled, we perservered, stayed optimistic, made a point of leaving our house, went where the wind took us and had a wonderful time doing it!

While this is a wonderful philosophy for life in general, it also works with our novels. Sometimes when everything goes wrong, our characters die when they shouldn't, fall in love with those that weren't meant to be, skip into conflicts we never planned, and otherwise behave in messy and naturally interesting ways, if you persevere with a smile and take a look at where the winds are pushing you, you might get to an even better place in the end.

RANT: Why I Love Post-Apocalyptic Horror

I'm desperate to crack open a post-apocaylptic novel or two as I've watched quite a few films lately. I think it's partly voyeurism. With all the rules gone, you can't help but traipse through other people's living rooms and see what's inside their fridge. True, you won't be thinking 'ohmigod, the Davidson's buy jam chutney' when you're busy hoarding food from the Legions of Hell, but it's still kind of cool getting to take a look. In a post-apocalyptic world, you're basically mandated to root around in other people's houses! (Am I a bad person?)

This is why I love video games. In video games, such as Fall Out but also including non-apocalyptic fantasy games like Zelda, you can wander around and sneak into people's homes and see what kind of furniture they have. I'm pretty weird because I really do love exploring the map and seeing what lays around the corner. What does a factory look like? I know! I'll go inside and take a look. Hmm, what about the back rooms of a museum? No security in this wasteland! Time to scope it out.

It's funny because I rarely get a chance to read, watch, or play post-apocalyptic games and yet they get me all the time. There's other reasons (easily comprehensible horror, having to get along in a group of disparate people, us vs. the world, an interest in natural disasters) but one of the big ones would have to be the fact that I'd just love to poke around in other people's things but would never do it in real life.

What about you? Also, does anyone here have a post-apocalyptic tale to suggest I read?

RANT: Inspiration from Raquel Byrne's M&Ms

So, I'm reading Raquel Byrne's neat blog and apparently she separates her M&Ms into piles of colour and then eats the smaller pile first. This may be a lie. On that post, she has a number of facts about herself and apparently one is false. That doesn't matter. What matters is that it's an interesting trait and it led me to realise what's missing in a lot of fictional characters - especially Fantasy characters. Kooky mannerisms.

I don't mean kooky mannerisms like a need to sniff every tree because you're an elf and tree pheromones tell you what they're feeling. I mean the kind of weird things that individuals happen to say or do. We all have them. It often makes it easier to identify with a character if they happen to have one as well and, sure, you don't want to put too much words towards something not strictly plot-relevant but these sorts of mannerisms don't need many words to detail them.

Some of them are gross: peeing in the shower, scratching one's crack, cupping our farts and shoving them under people's noses, wiping snot on our sleeves if we're crying and can't find a tissue, or making it rain dandruff by scratching our heads, letting a dog lick your face, always kissing with tongue no matter who's present, ripping off the edges of your finger/toe nails when they get too long and leaving them on the table, shaving your face and leaving the hairs behind.

Some of them are silly: crawling up the stairs to the first floor, throwing a pseudo-tantrum at bed time so your partner has to drag you across the tiled floor by your feet to get you to the stairs, getting really hyper when you're over-tired and talking a hundred miles an hour, or sudden giggle bursts where you just can't stop laughing, snorting when you laugh (I do all these things).

Some are just odd: separating M&Ms according to colour and eating the smaller pile first (sorry Raquel), ironing your socks, snuffing out candles with finger tips rather than blowing them out, changing your sheets every morning, using eating utensils like you're left-handed when you're actually right-handed, constantly fidgeting, jigging your foot constantly, flicking your fingers when you get bored, attempting 'puppy dog eyes' to convince people to do stuff for you when you really can't pull it off, never being able to get the tone right to pull off a joke.

These are all mannerisms I've seen in real life. I'm sure that even in a fantasy world some of these would transfer over with few, or even no, differences. Why does your character have to be squeaky clean and normal? Why can't they pop zits or threaten people with snotty rags or spend 20 minutes trying to make sure that painting is perfectly level? Making the characters feel that extra bit more real should be a priority.

So, give it a go, and please, tell me ... what are some of the strange mannerisms you've either used in a book or seen in real life?

RANT: Oh, you Crazy Middle Sections

Well, it's official ... I'm editing the middle part of the novel that I've edited for ages and guess what I found? I need to remove a character. *sigh* The character was pretty cool and her entry was awesome and foreboding but, really? She didn't *need* to be there. No one would notice if she had never arrived. She doesn't really impact on the novel or help the protagonist grow and change and it all just sort of bogs it all down to throw an additional character in the mix when we know so little about the existing ones. So, out she's got to go. Which is great, because it saves me some words - hopefully enough to spend on really amping up the confrontation between a father and son in the story that didn't get enough screen time in the earlier editions.

Of course, the irritating part is ... having to make such a major change at this late stage of the game suggests I'm not as close to the editing finishing line as I originally thought. This was meant to be a line-check, not a major re-write! On the plus side, her impact was so minimal that simple deletions and basic re-writing should be all that's needed. My concern is just that if this thing slipped through, what else did?

RANT: Giggle Fit of Pride

Well, there's little more enjoyable than popping over to your novel for a quick revision only to find that you absolutely adore the first line of your novel. So, forgive me for my moment of boasting (promise it'll be over soon), but here is what, to me, is an absolute gem of a line:

Scary things always happened at home but only naughty children cried about them.

I have edited Chapter 1 at least fifteen or so times. It's the chapter that's given me the most trouble (unless you consider the last chapter but endings always bug me). The fact that the first line finally feels right to me, makes me go 'wheee!'