SAMPLE IT: 15 Ways To Show Fear

I have posts on fear and your characters, the details of fear (which explains why I'm splitting SAMPLE IT: Anxiety from SAMPLE IT: Fear), two main uses of fear, trauma and a list of trauma symptoms. You can check out a really neat set of descriptions of physical sensations and movements in response to emotions (fear) in the aforementioned hyperlink. Still, I think I can add to that, so without further ado, here is a list of 15 descriptions of fear. Here's an opening piece to put me in the mood:

Images flash across the screen. He can see them now. The screams of twisted creature's haggard features. Water rolling back of the shore of something terrible. Twisting vines of dripping black dangling from the sky. A voice that shatters glass. A rolling front of white-hot trembling air coming forward. Flesh flayed from bones. A man faces a woman with a knife. She intones, her hands twisting through a number of bizarre gestures, snake-like, intense, wrong. The man's face twists in pain, his limbs jerking back, pustules cross his face, blistering, fluidic, his eyes clouded with blood, growing red, the blood running along lines in his blistered face. He turns to the television screen.

1. Dave grips the remote tightly in his hand, staring wide-eyed at the screen.
2. Slowly, ever so slowly, he lifts the remote and presses the 'off button' with a trembling finger.
3. The television snaps off, and exhales long and slow, his lungs still tight.
4. He uses the chair's arm to steady himself as he rises to his feet.
5. His legs are weak beneath him and he staggers to the wall to lean against it, staring toward the warm lights of the kitchen.
6. The lights go out. His heart thuds against his ribs as he looks around, searching for some sign of an intruder by the light switch.
7. The television snaps back on. Gasping, he whips around towards it.
8. Nothing. Just static. He stares at it, eyes wide and watchful, eyebrows raised somewhere between hopeful and terrified. Maybe it's nothing.
9. His blood runs cold and he can almost feel the pallor settling on his cheeks.
10. Something rustled in the kitchen. He held his breath, keeping still, listening for the source of the sound.
11. Someone was moving around in there and he was standing so very close to the door. He crouched down somewhat, moving away, neck muscles stiff with the effort of holding himself as still as he could all the while moving toward the front door.
12. Footsteps behind him. He flinched, expecting pain.
13. A hand clamped down on his shoulder and he pulled away from it, cringing in fear.
14. "Please d...." His weak voice failed to finish the plea.
15. He ducked his head as he turned to face his attacker. "Mum?"

"David Robert Smith, why on Earth aren't you in bed yet?" asked his mother, smiling grimly. "Maybe this'll teach you for watching those horror movies on a school night."

Yeah, yeah, I know. Not the best quality writing but that's kind of hard when you're focusing on bodily reactions in a third-person restricted POV where each line needs a new response. Notice the fight, flight, or freeze responses? The times when he takes a deep breath (or exhales deeply) to ready himself?

Anyway, if anyone has any other examples of fear responses, please feel free to post them down in the Comments box.

SAMPLE IT: 15 ways to reveal flirtation

1. Jack stared at her until he was sure he'd caught her eye, then he looked away, glancing back a few short seconds later.
2. Jane leaned forward in her chair, her legs crossed with her hands clasped on her knees so that her arms squeezed her bosom a little.
3. He grinned and raised his eyebrows at her, raising his drink in the same movement.
4. Her lips parted slightly as she slowly returned the smile.
5. That was as good an invitation as any. Jack sauntered over, sitting down on a nearby chair and leaning forward a little in his chair (mimicking). "Hello."
6. Jane tossed her head back, running her fingers through her dark blonde hair (preening) as she rose to her feet. "Hi there."
7. Jack rose as well. "Going somewhere?" Her hooked in his thumbs in his pant pockets, fingers splayed. (A cocky framing device for his, um...)
8. She flicked her gaze from his shoes on upward. "Maybe. Depends."
9. His grin broadened and he cocked his head to one side, waiting. The silence stretched on, so he asked, "On what?"
10. She bit her lip lightly, holding it there for a moment. "You."
11. He chuckled and glanced away from a moment, then turned his attention back on her. Boy, she was making him nervous. "Oh?" His throat was a little dry, so he cleared it, and tried again. "Oh yeah?"
12. "Yeah. Maybe." She shrugged and flicked her hair back over one shoulder.
13. He took a short step closer to partially close the gap. Now they were in touching range and he sure wanted to touch her. Still, this girl wasn't exactly subtle but that didn't mean he was home free yet. (proximity helps)
14. She held his gaze for a few additional minutes then dropped her gaze, almost coyly, to the floor, moistening her lips as she did so.
15. He resisted the urge to touch her, to gently lift that chin and lean forward to kiss her. Instead, he scratched at his chin. "So, uh, can I buy you a drink?"

Okay, this isn't the subtlest of flirtations but I tried to show a range from the arsenal. Remember, though, that flirtation is very particular to the character. Some may flirt simply by talking to you. Others might draw on a wide range of coy behaviors.

SAMPLE IT: 15 ways to show sadness / melancholy

This is a tricky one as melancholy often involves a sort of visible weariness that manifests in limited, often jerky, gestures and short, stilted speech. Still, I'm nothing if not keen on a challenge.

Of course, since I'll be throwing out examples of sadness, let's get the obvious one out of the way:

1. Jane cried / wailed / keened over her tiara.

Now onto the less obvious methods of showing sadness.

2. Jane slouched into the room and headed into the living room.
3. She slumped into the couch.
4. "Sure. Sounds great." Her flat tone and drooping shoulders showed she thought it would be anything but.
5. Her eyes welled up in tears as she stared down at her feet.
6. She didn't bother to look at him. What was the point?
7. She plastered on a tight smile. "No, really, I feel better now," she said a little too loudly. "You can stop, really."
8. Her lower lip trembled as she struggled to blink back the tears before they dripped down her cheeks.
9. She lowered her head into her hands, shoulders shaking as she fought back the grief.
10. Jane leaned her head against the window glass, staring outside but seeing nothing.
11. She tried to clear her throat, but the twisted lump remained, drawing her voice tight over every syllable.
12. She clenched her fists, quickly drawing in breath, hoping the feeling would pass.
13. She rubbed at her chest, trying to ease the ache in her heart, and gulped for air. It was so hard to breathe.
14. "Where were you?" Her voice broke over the last syllable.
15. Her breath caught in her throat. "Simon?"

SAMPLE IT: 15 ways to show confidence / pride / arrogance

Pride and arrogance aren't the same thing but, for simplicity's sake, I'm combining them both here.

1. Jane jutted out her chin (suggesting obstinance)
2. She tilted her head back and stared down her nose at him.
3. She hooked her thumbs into her armpits, splaying her fingers.
4. Jane rocked back on her heels, staring down at him.
5. She leaned back in her chair and folded her hands behind her head.
6. "Do you really think that?" Jane asked, closing her eyes and arching her eyebrows at her friend.
7. Jane blew on her fingernails, then polished them on her lapel. "Chalk another one up to me!"
8. Jane stared at the teacher, clicking her fingers in the air to get her attention. "Excuse me? Excuse me!"
9. "Who? Her?" Jane indicated the girl with a dismissive flap of one hand. "Well I suppose you could talk to her."
10. Jane smirked. "What a good idea..."
11. She puffed out her chest and put her hands on her hips as her commanding officer heaped praise on her.
12. Gestures that involve taking up space show confidence (sometimes arrogance depending on the situation) such as: Jane flopped on her friend's couch and threw her legs over the arm rest.
13. Jane kept glancing past her date, looking for someone else to talk to.
14. Jane strutted into the store.
15. Jane swaggered out of the store.

If you want some more details on how you showcase arrogance, take a look here: http://www.theladders.com/career-advice/12-ways-tell-confident-arrogant

SAMPLE IT: 15 ways to show Jane's anxiety

1. As the political advisor told them all to prepare for the stage, Jane leaned forward in her chair, gripping the chair seat with both hands (literally holding herself back from leaving the chair). She just wanted to leave.
2. Jane rubbed her ear lobe, desperately wishing she could tell the political advisor to stop lecturing her (an adult variation of the child clapping their hands over their ears so they don't have to hear it).
3. Instead, she scrunched up the edge of her skirt, staring at the ground, as the political advisor ranted (apprehension leads to fiddly fingers).
4. The bright lights and sudden silence made Jane tug at her collar. Did he want her to say something? What had he been accusing her of this time? She'd stopped listening. (Anxiety, especially after an accusation, can cause people to feel hot under the collar or cause sweat to make fabric cling).
5. Jane's eyebrows knitted together as she struggled to remember. "Umm?" (acute anxiety).
6. Jane stared at the ground, open-mouthed, as the political advisor began his rant again.
7. Jane bit her lip, hard, to distract herself from her fear. He'd stop ranting soon.
8. Jane folded her arms across her chest as she hurried over to wait beside the stage (forming a barrier between her and other people).
9. Jane paced back and forth beside the stage.
10. Jane fiddled with her shirt cuff as she stepped up onto the stage (apprehension leads to fiddly fingers).
11. Jane rubbed her cold, clammy hands against her skirt before holding it out for the Mayor to shake.
12. Beads of sweat ran down Jane's face as she tried to remember her prepared speech.
13. Her mouth ran dry at the thought of going up on that stage. She licked her lips nervously, then went to pour herself a glass of water, sipping at it slowly.
14. The glass rattled slightly in her hand as she brought it up to sip.
15. Giving up on the speech entirely, Jane moved jerkily off the stage, desperate to sit down before her legs gave out beneath her.

Of course, if Jane has given her speech it would probably have been full of speech errors, voice tremors, and with a tone that varied its pitch. Poor Jane!

What other ways could we have shown Jane's anxiety?

SAMPLE IT: 15 ways to write Angry Dave

I've been reading up on body language as I often get tired of using the same old social cues to let the readers know how the character is feeling. So I can use pronouns as well as nouns, I called him Dave. Why? I like the name. So I figured I'd list a bundle of ways to clue the reader into the fact that Dave is angry. Some of them are cliches, some are (hopefully) unique. All should hopefully be worthwhile. I'll throw in a bit of dialogue to make it more interesting.

1. "Oh yeah?" He pounded his fist into the palm of his hand.
2. Dave smacked the table. "You!"
3. Dave ground his teeth together. "Come here."
4. "Sir!" He gritted his teeth and squared off his shoulders.
5. He glared at her. "What do you want?"
6. He grabbed her chin and squeezed.
7. "Thanks for that!" he spat.
8. He flicked a thumbnail against his teeth. "Screw you!"
9. He flipped her the middle finger.
10. He jerked a thumb against his throat with a grin. "See you later..."
11. His nostrils flared with each breath. "You..."
12. Dave's hands balled into fists.
13. "How dare you!" His forefinger stabbed out in time with the words.
14. Dave stomped his foot. "Not fair!"
15. Dave's face turned brick red as he stood trembling with rage before her.

Yeah, I know, No. 7 could count as a saidism. I think it's okay if you quite literally mean that there was a spray of spittle.

Does anyone else know any behavioral cues to add to the list? Or any particularly well-worded line you've read anywhere? Let's add to the list.

TIPS: Issues with Sparseness

In one of the published novels I've been reading, the plot zips along at a fairly rapid pace. I've only read the first 30 pages and in one scene there was a whole page and a half dedicated to a history lesson about this one minor character. Now, the history lesson was really cool. It delved into how he got this particular artefact, how a friend of his died, and why he was so desperate to get across town to give the artefact to someone else. The problem was that it read like a timeline and really would've been more interesting if the author had dramatised it. As it was, it got a bit dull.

Other sections of the book suffer from a similar problem although in those instances, it wasn't exposition to blame. It was a desperate desire to skip along to the next bit that led to whole paragraphs feeling like an exercise in ... and then ... and then ... and then....

Unpublished authors can also have trouble with this one, especially since they're encouraged to cut out every unnecessary word in the sentence. It doesn't help that most of the advice involves the Delete key. Throw out all of the POV slips, the adjectives, the 'was' and 'were', remove this, reduce that, and combine the other. It's rare to find an article that says: 'put more words in'.

Yet if you hear critters complaining about a 'lack of protagonist perspective', 'where are they, anyway?' or even that there's little sense of tension, it might be that you've written too sparsely. Perhaps you need to add words. Add a few choice adjectives, some internal dialogue, or some description. Perhaps you need to slow it down, pad it out, and keep it from sounding like a laundry list of activity interspersed with dialogue.

I know this used to be one of my problems. 'More POV' and 'More Description' they would clamor and I would be confused. Weren't my favorite authors known for their sparse writing and their snappy dialogue?

I went back to those authors and re-read them and I found that their pages weren't full of lines of dialogue and ultra-brief narrative elements. To make matters worse, I found that they could increase tension and add a sense of speed to a novel by adding block after block of well-written and meaty paragraphs. Counter-intuitive, I know, but they managed it.

So, as a writing exercise, I suggest you all go over to those legendary so-called 'sparse' and 'tight' writers you read and take a look to see how sparse they really are. If you're told about pacing difficulties, flat tension, confusion about locations, or a lack of character depth, consider whether you should add more words rather than take them all away.

Sometimes less isn't more. Sometimes, less is just less.

TIPS: 5 Methods To Build Emotional Realism

We've all been there. We're writing up our characters who we've said are enraged by a terrible injustice and yet (aside from a statement saying they're angry) their thoughts are all about how cute the secretary is, how much they liked the latte, and whenever they talk to someone, their word choices and sentence styles are the same as always. Or we've written a character who, despite signs around them that would make me crawl under the bed and hide, are just kind of chilling out and worrying about the hum drum issues that really wouldn't register in a fit of anxiety. I know I've done it. My first draft of Curse of the Rose / The Butterfly Lady involved a lot of critters telling me to give them 'more POV'.

What they meant when they said that was that they didn't know what the character was thinking / feeling. They were distant from the character. It also indicated that I hadn't fully set their emotional states on the page in any of the main forms. So, here are a few ways to realistically portray emotion.

1. Memory. Cast your mind back to the last time you were in pain, heartbroken, angry, scared, or what have you. What did you think about? What did you notice? I know, for example, that when I'm angry, my best friend's stroll can set my teeth on edge because an Angry Me is an Impatient Me. I know I'm not going to be thrilled about any queues, line ups, or anything else like that. Most people I know are the same way though they might express it differently (glares, passive aggressive increased walking speed, pushing in, snapping at someone, turning their anger directly at the victim).

2. Descriptions. Note how a queue can look differently depending on how you're feeling. If you're madly in love and have bumped into a friend in a queue, you might be happy to stand there and gush about your romance. If you've won the lottery (i.e. ecstatic), very little will wipe the smile off your face. If you're sad, you might not care where you are. What do you think those feelings will do to your perspective? How might you interpret the stimuli around you? Who would you notice? How would you describe it? Mood very much affects perspective so let your Point of View Character's mood affect what you describe and how you describe it.

3. Dialogue. The next time you're emotional (or someone else is) try to also pay attention to what you're saying and how you're saying it (a difficult feat in certain situations). Anger often makes sentences shorter and more abrupt. Excitement can create longer, flowing, muddled sentences. Happy people generally pay more attention to social niceties and are more interested in other people than sad people. These are all generalties, and there are other ways people express emotion through word choice and tone, so pay attention to them and then see how you might relay that through your dialogue.

4. Personality. Pay attention to how other people behave, on television and in real life, to certain stimuli. Television isn't always a good example as it's pre-packaged and fake, but if you pick scenes that resonated with you, odds are it had a believable element. I loved the fear responses in the movie REC. It felt very real to me. So, even though I have no way of watching terror in other people in real life, I can sit down and analyse the different personalities in that movie and how they displayed their fear. Some converted it into anger and targeted other people. Some panted and looked like they were going to throw up. Some just became very weak and helpless.

5. Brainstorm. Brainstorm reactions to those emotional events. This can really help you move away from stereotype. If you brainstorm 10 possible reactions per major event per character, you can then pick the most likely reaction rather than falling back on the old standbys such as Military Man converts fear to anger and wants to fight out his differences; Housewife falls down in a puddle of helplessness. It might be that this time, with this stimuli, Bob the Military Man falters as he expects to know what to do in a situation but this one is totally beyond his skills while Josie the Housewife is too busy keeping it together for her loved ones to fall apart and that focus helps keep her strong.

----

So there you have it, 5 methods of getting across the emotional reality of your story. Hope this helped! If you have any more, or have examples you want to put across (especially movies / television shows / books that demonstrated an emotion really well), feel free to mention them in the comments.

Themes, Moods, and Examples

So as another exercise of the mind, I've generated a list of possible themes and moods (obviously not a complete list - that would be impossible) and I figured it might be worth doing an exercise which looks at bringing a theme and a mood to life. I'm going to use the Urban Fantasy sub-genre with a focus on Vampires as they're rather popular these days. I rolled some dice to figure out which theme and mood from the list I would be using.

The theme will be A Choice Between Two Evils and the mood will be Bittersweet. Yeah, yeah, I know. Not exactly a hard theme / mood for the subject matter but, in my defence, I settled on the subject well before I rolled the dice. The dice decided the rest. Go blame the dice.

Let's imagine the vampires are gathering, as they do, in typical vampire fashion to be all cold and callously political. I could run with some sort of kill 5 people to save 100 dilemma or perhaps have someone choose between two other creatures - perhaps a werewolf and a demon - but neither of them seem very bittersweet and moral dilemmas tend to fall a bit flat with blood-sucking creatures of the night. So, let's go with a trial.

The trial involves two vampire brothers murdering another vampire but claiming they are both innocent of the act. The vampires wish them both dead but for the prince, after weeks of deliberation, is prepared to make a settlement: If one of the brothers points the finger and tells the court who truly killed the vampire, the murderer will die and the other one be spared. After all, the prince can't have such a display of solidarity between vampires go unpunished.

The prince and all the other vampires expect the two to fall upon each other and claim the other did it. Instead, one simply stands shocked. The other brother steps forward and claims that he felled the final blow and that his colleague is innocent. That vampire is summarily executed and the other allowed to go free and continue his immortal existence. A bittersweet ending as the survivor gained what he wished for (freedom) but at a terrible price (his own loyal compatriot).

So that's the theme fully engaged through the plot itself. The choice between two evils is a choice between suicide and mutual destruction. Neither are good choices. So how about the mood?

The bittersweet mood can be reinforced through recollections of better nights, conversation between the two accused, and signs of nostalgia in the area such as grandfather clocks. The court room should be elegant and opulent, the vampires dressed in finery, with most vampires looking both beautiful and young to emphasise the benefits of the vampire race. Richness, opulent surrounds, power, and ever-lasting youth are so often wished for. Also underscore the subtle disconnects between alleged allies, discreet blood stains around the lips, deathly lack of movement in the older and more powerful vampires, glimpses of fangs and inhumanity, a layer of dust over parts of the court room that hasn't been updated since 1800 - each showing the unforseen consequences of being forever dead monsters. Thus the bittersweet mood of gaining something one wished for but with a terrible consequence is highlighted through the location alone.

Hmm, this exercise was a bit of fun. Is there any interest in me doing future ones of these or should I look to another writing exercise?

TIPS: The Story Behind a Place

In 2010, I started looking around me. I'd never done it before, not really, not in my entire life. I'd gone to university and kept my mind on daydreams and chores and reading books. I've bussed to many locations and not really seen them. For some reason, perhaps because I catch the bus at the same time twice daily now that I work, or perhaps for some intangible reason of personal development, I actually opened my eyes and started looking.

I noticed so many things. How the cockatoos toss their heads in flight at dusk, screeching and squawking. How a car alarm sounds when surrounded (or perhaps causing) bird song and how in Australia it's sometimes hard to pick out the alarm at all. How beautiful the birds look and how insane they sound. The stages of bark on the trees. First they're all barked up, then it starts sloughing off leaving green beneath, then it starts toughening up again over summer - leaving me lots of crunchy bark pieces to jump on. How some bits of pavement are concrete, others as asphalt (often covered in loose gravel) and others are beaten dirt. How often you can see glass from old smashed windows, perhaps from decades ago, glittering like gems in the dirt by the side of the road.

Then there's the buildings. Chipped paint, gleaming paint, patterns of fresh and older paint. Corrugated iron roof tops - new or freshly painted, faded or rusted. Sagging verandahs. Shiny iron lace. Trees, plants, a dozen types of fencing.

I look around me and I see, hear, and smell all the places around me and I wish, truly wish, I could capture this experience and put it onto paper. The trouble is, of course, a plethora of details won't help me capture that experience so I guess it's all in the telling details. Each description of a place should be an anecdote. A story. A tale. It should imply much even if it says little.

Have you told any anecdotes in your descriptions lately?

DIAGNOSTIC: Why I Love The Procedural Crime Genre

This may come as a surprise to some of you, since I read fantasy novels and am even writing a few, but I have a lot of love for the crime genre. Ed McBain of the 87th Precinct series is my favourite author and I read his novels over and over without feeling bored - even though a lot of them are quite short.

So what is it about the style of writing in the Crime Genre that makes it awesome?

Sparkling dialogue: Perhaps it's because of how important dialogue is so important in revealing clues, but generally, the dialogue in crime novels are often very individualised to the speaker. The sense of rhythm differs, the slang differs, the sense of perspective differs, and the core of the characters differs which means you can get some very interesting twists and turns in the dialogue that hold the reader's attention. There are often several minor characters that have a few pages of dialogue to explain certain situations and these minor characters are often as well-drawn as the primary protagonists. This means that I pay a lot more attention when they're speaking because by anaylsing the words a) I sate my voyeuristic need to understand where other people are coming from, and b) you never quite know what will happen next.

Quirky characters: I find this especially in procedural crime novels, perhaps to provide contrast against the rather sensible detectives, but it's also true of other sub-genres as well. The characters are often quirky in new and amusing ways. Personally, I think this is because really good procedural crime novelists do a lot of research and listen to a lot of anecdotes. They notice the strange reactions people have sometimes and they port some of that into their books. It's harder in speculative fiction because the only 'anecdotes' you have for people's behavior in other worlds is other people's works and importing them only makes your work more derivative. The exception to this are fantasy and science fiction novels set in the modern world with a few twists. Perhaps it would help if speculative fiction authors spent more time asking people about random anecdotes about other people and then seeing if those reactions could work in lands dramatically different from our own.

Precision in description: Perhaps again related to the copious amount of research a crime novelist has to do but they often are very precise with their details. They use the correct titles of rooms, the right names for equipment, and at every step try to pack the most information into the fewest words. This may be more of a personal preference as I'm sure a lot of readers enjoy the more leisurely and diffuse descriptions that can often be found in other genres but I certainly enjoy a certain crispness to my descriptions.

What do you like about the crime genre?

Disclaimer: Writers in other genres have achieved all of the above and more. These are simply positive points that I have more often found in the crime genre.

WORTHY LINK: Blending world building

TalkToYoUniverse has a really good piece of advice in this article on how you should put your world descriptions and exposition into the background by really emphasizing the viewpoint character's perspective. Filter it all through the lens of the viewpoint character, in other words. In a fantasy novel, I could look over at a clock and let people know that there are clocks. The world description would be in the foreground and readers might notice how obvious it is and how it stands out. Or I could look at the clock and feel rushed, feel bored, note how its hanging from the wall crookedly, running out of batteries, winding down, or even remember my now dead parents. All of that would put the viewpoint character in the foreground where they belong and slip the same piece of exposition into the background.

Very cool article! Not to mention the fact that she is analysing the first scene from reader-submitted novels and revealing the information that a reader might latch onto about the world. Take a read. It's a really excellent idea for a blog and one I'm tempted to poach simply because it'd help me figure out how to slip in the myriad of details that distinguish my fantasy setting from the generic one.

RESEARCH: Carola Wetlands

I have a peculiar fascination with understanding the local environment for my stories. A great number of fantasy novels have the environment as scenery and moody set-pieces. Many of them describe the environment in beautiful and haunting ways but there's very little depth behind it. No sense of an ecology. Now, whether ecology is more important than story-appropriate scenery is a matter for debate. I'm not arguing one way or the other. I just like trying to set up the environment so it makes sense. It helps that since I'm using Australian flora and fauna I get to learn more about my own country.

Of course, the biggest problem with naming the flora in your country is that you can either make up names for all the flowers (which can often end up irritating the reader) or risk giving flowers names that might annoy purists because, after all, why does this fantasy world have eucalypts or elms or pines, anyway? I've noticed over the years that many animals and plants mentioned are generically American / English. I think one of the primary reasons why a lot of readers tend toward the generic with their plants is the risk of naming flowers that the readers can't visualise. If you say, white rose, I know what you're talking about. If I talk about pigweed, will you?

I've found the way around this is to pick plants that have very evocative names. Sure, if I write 'pigweed', odds are you'll imagine a very different plant to the reality but it's a name that does at least conjure up an image. It's better than samphire which, despite being prolific in certain Realms areas, really does require its own description. Or worse, the Latin name for something.

So here's some adapted research (research turned toward world building and has already been fantasised):

The Regency Capital is located within the on a floodplain of the lower River Stafford lying 5km south of a major wetland – Carola Wetlands. The Carola Wetlands segment of the lower River Stafford floodplain consists of the main river channels and a diversity of wetland habitats including a series of creeks, channels, lagoons, billabongs, swamps, and lakes. Between the water-bodies are extensive areas of low-lying floodplain that are flooded during high river levels with receding floodwaters being retained in temporary wetlands. The Carola wetlands supports many aquatic fauna and waterbirds, some of which are migratory and also provides important habitat for many terrestrial fauna species, including refuge for wildlife during the dry season.

The floodplain supports extensive stands of river red gum and black box woodlands (both harder to visualise - would require description). There are fringing reeds and sedges (easy to visualise), Herbland (more a category of flora), Samphire Shrublands, saltbush shrublands, and Lignum Shrublands (all free require description). The fringing reeds are Common reed and Spiny sedge (easy to visualise even if the image evoked is wrong). Submerged vegetation include ribbonweeds and red milfoil (second one would be tricky to visualise but is easier in context with ribbonweeds).

The birds include White Egrets, Glossy Ibis, White-bellied Sea-Eagle, Red-necked stint, Sharp-tailed Sandpiper, Curlew Sandpiper, Greenshank, Caspian Tern. Regend parrots breed in hollows or Vier red gum, Musk duck, blue-billed duck, freckled duck, glossy ibis, banded stilt, square-tailed kite, peregrine falcon, white-bellied sea-eagle, blue-faced honeyeater, striped honey-eater, and the restless flycatcher. Many of these you can visualise because the first word is generally a description and the second word is a category of bird you've heard before - honeyeater, eagle, duck. The last one sounds like an insect.

Southern bell frog in the large wetlands. Yabbies are best in the warmer months and often caught in backwaters and in deep water. Hoop nets are relatively inexpensive and suit most conditions. Hmm, do you foreignors know what a yabby is?

Animals include common brushtail possum, feathertailed glider, broad-shell turtle, eastern tiger snake, carpet python, lace monitor, mussles. There are also feral goats, pigs, and rabbits making themselves at home after a few hundred years of habitation.

Rare plants: Dainty maiden-hair, swamp daisy, black-fruit daisy, water star-wort, pale flax-lily, small-flower beetle-grass, pale-fruit cherry, purple love-grass, hooked needlewood, nutty club-rush, creeping boobialla, jagged bitter-cress. Tee hee, I like this range of choices. They're all very evocative. I particularly like the creeping boobialla and jagged bitter-cress.

Fish include the Murray cod, silver perch, freshwater catfish, golden perch, bony herring, Australian smelt, Murray rainbowfish, flat-head gudgeon, dwarf flat-headed gudgeon, unspected hardyhead, murray hardyhead, and redfin perch. This is more useful when it comes to describing food. The trouble is I don't eat fish so I can't describe their flavor properly.

The landscape overlays a series of horizontal sedimentary formations ranging from sandstones to limestone over which lies sands ranging from fine to coarse sands. Soil type changes greatly over the landscape with the ancestral floodplain being dominated by both neutral and alkaline grey self-mulching cracking clays, neutral brown siliceous sands and neutral firm grey siliceous sands. The highland buffer zone soils consist of alkaline red calcareous earths, alkaline friable red duplex soils and neutral brownish sands. I have an obsession with geology. I'm not incredibly well-versed in the science but I do love rock samples and the strange patterning.

So, what do you think? Am I over-thinking it?

WRITING EXERCISE: Sensory Maps

Sensory Maps in psychology are the various parts of the brain that respond to sensory stimulation. I'm using the term, however, somewhat more broadly. I'm using it to refer to the ways with which we can alter our psychology through tampering with the environment around us. One's environment certainly affects one's opinions, moods, and behavior. Of course, how it affects us is at least somewhat dependent on personality traits and cultural expectations.

If we take a man from the rural outback, who grew up in a farm, and pop him down in the middle of a nineteenth floor block of cubicles that stretch out as far as they eye can see, you're going to get a significantly different reaction than if you take a man from Tokyo or one of the other mega-cities.

Small changes can also make an impact. Raising or lowering the temperature. Increasing or decreasing the noise level. Changing the type of noise (repetitive Christmas carols, the ocean, bird song, white noise, high-pitched humming) also has an impact. But what about light? Lighting quality can also affect things. Both the colour of the light and the type of light. If it's bright and glaring, we're more likely to feel awake, though it might make us feel more stressed. If it's 'warm', diffuse, and shadowy (like firelight), we're more likely to feel relaxed, if a bit more drowsy.

When we say we're aiming for a piece of description to evoke a mood, we're talking about these sorts of maps. True, the world around them won't conform to their expectations all the time or else it'll seem a bit ludicrous. However, there are often minor details that can be quite telling and can help readers who are trying to picture the location feel more connected to the mood itself.

So, here is my attempt to turn the humble office cubicle into a Force for Fear, Happiness, and Burn Out. I'm going to try to keep all the same words in place but change the feeling by simply changing the descriptive words.

Force for Fear.
One cubicle among many. That seemed to be the company mantra. Ninety cubicles on the 28th floor. Most were cast in darkness. The overhead lights were on a timer to go off unless there was enough motion in the area. It was one of the few modern renovations in a building constructed in 1886. My section still had lighting because I was working late. I had the elevator directly behind me and every so often it would ding as the elevator climbed past my floor along its creaking tracks. It still had its accordion door and every time it went past, I'd look back over my shoulder and see into the empty lift.

Force for Happiness.
One cubicle among many. That seemed to be the company mantra. Twelve cubicles on the 2nd floor. All were well-lit by the odd assortment of lamps we had brought in for the last show and tell. Mine was beaded. My desk was a mess of drawings, hand-written notes, post-its, and pot-plants. I had the window directly behind me, overlooking the park, and every so often I'd look back over my shoulder and gaze down into the main street at my home town.

Force for Burn Out.
One cubicle among many. That seemed to be the company mantra. Forty cubicles on the 28th floor. Too many fluorescent lights cast the floor in an all-too-severe light worsened by the bright white floors, walls, and ceilings. My desk was a maze of paperwork, all set out in neat little piles, all marked with little red lettering by my superviser. The lettering was so small I almost had to keep a magnifying glass on hand to read it. I had the window directly behind me, the window into my boss' office that is, and every so often I'd look back over my shoulder and see my boss looking back at me.

What do you think? And why don't you all have a go? Just set up the same location type (office, hospital ward, etc.) and give it three different descriptions.

Knowing Places

I've noticed more and more how much I don't really notice. I always used to have my head stuck in a book. It's only this year that I've actually started looking around me and I have noticed so much more. The way the bark peels from the trees in late Spring. The different amounts of birds. The many types of gardens and homes. I've also started doing a bit of minor research (mostly Wikipedia and Google) into some of the local areas. I've examined Google Earth views of my home city and tried to wrap my head around where everything is.

I live in what would be to Americans (and most other countries), a large country town, but which is a capital city in Australia. I've always considered it just the same old few streets but, really, when I look at it now I see so much more. There is so much you can learn about your home town or city. So many places that you won't see if you just whizz by in a car.

I've walked through Rundle Mall and paid attention to what I heard or smelled rather than what I saw. I've travelled the O'Bahn and noted how the River Torrens grows more shallow or deeper depending on the season, temperature, and recent rainfall. I've even noticed how what was green grass and weeds in winter became clover in early spring and is now this yellow reed-weeds that just blankets everything. How even the grasses seem to have died and it's not even all that hot or dry just yet! I've noticed how dark it gets and how quickly in winter and how much better it is in spring when I can get home and its still daylight.

I've noticed all kinds of things. These all help me as a writer and as a person. We spend so much time trying to figure out the right adjective or metaphor to describe something we've never seen, that we don't bother looking around us to take inspiration from things we can experience.

So, as a writing exercise, learn to look around you. You can learn so much more that way.

Meeting Differences

Well, it's funny how becoming a writer can really hone your perceptions. Or perhaps, being perceptive can really hone your writer-ness. I've been working in local government for awhile and have gotten used to the 'official meets shenanigans'-style that fills those meetings. There's a general leveling process in the local government meetings where I've been where people test the waters with humor and speaking their minds and the senior management encourages this ... to a point. While the bawdier meetings tend to be with people of the same, or similar levels, such as middle-management and their staff - and especially when its with the team leader and their staff - humor and free-spokenness also dominate in meetings with senior management and lower staff. Sure, people do censor themselves but not to the same extent as one might expect.

So then I attended a meeting filled with social workers, teachers, and nutritionists and found it to be quite different. Where we might have a fifteen-minute brain storming session scheduled, they took an hour and made sure that everyone spoke their piece. They spoke quieter, were much more politically correct, oozed politeness and gentleness, and used the sort of clarification and giving of alternatives structures that a psychologist would be proud of. In other words, they went out of their way to be inoffensive and inclusive. Their body language was kept more open and there were so many 'mm-hmms' to show they were listening / interested / agreeing that at times it felt like a meditation session.

While I have ridiculed their style a little, in truth there are many benefits to it in terms of inclusiveness. It was just that after dealing with a particular type of meeting style for so long, their version made me feel a little uncomfortable because it highlighted so many differences in communication and meeting styles. Here I was thinking that the local government forums and meetings had a good style, and here's a whole other group also having a good, but very different, style.

It just makes me want to go sit in on a business meeting and see if they're different again! Of course, maybe it just depends on the industry more than anything. If I sit in on a business meeting of a range of pen-pushers and policy-makers, it may well be the same (The Office's generally silliness ain't far off in my book - though luckily we don't have similar managers, ours are quite clever and nice to boot). Whereas if I sat in on bankers and accounters, or marketers and PR people, or the entertainment industry, it might be different again!

Do any of you have interesting meeting or business-style contrast stories to give?

The Three Good Posts

So, to make up for my week-long absence, here's another post. This one is a lazy one. I'm just going to direct you to other blogs that were pretty good this week. Then I may point out a few more good points from The Good Book for Speculative Fiction writers. Also know as The Writer's Digest Guide to Science Fiction & Fantasy (the one by Orson Scott Card and the editors of the Writer's Digest). Maybe. Or I'll save that for another post if this one gets too long.

If I seem a little excitable, that's because I finally got a contract signed that I've been waiting on for awhile and it feels so good to be underway at work! Woo hoo! I've been working on it for a fortnight.

So, without further ado or distractions (oh look, a cubicle!), here's some decent blog posts:

Flights of Fantasy have a post on Swords in Fantasy. Many different types of swords are described, from sentient ones, to ones with different powers, and how the post author just loves all these different uses for swords in fantasy. It's an interesting and fun read.

TalkToYoUniverse have a post on details in fiction. This blog post contains one of those lines that really sums up what I've been trying to say with my posts on descriptions: ''confound the easy expectations and your world will start to pop." It's not only good because contrasts and contradictions catch the eye (try saying that one three times fast) but also because it makes the viewpoint character feel more real. I would notice the CEO's nose ring or chunky gemstone bracelet before I notice his Armani suit, after all. In a public library, I would notice the Warhammer 40k terrain set up in the Youth section (complete with a number of Warhammer 40k books in center stage) before I would notice the other book shelves. Therefore it makes more sense when the character does, too.
The Other Side of the Story have a post about why your novel died. It's also pretty handy for interpreting what your critters actually meant and what you should be asking yourself. Take a look at the long list of questions and thought-provoking statement designed to help you figure out why you stopped wanting to write that story.

Hmm, think this post is long enough. I'll save up the bits of advice from that wonderful Good Book for the next thrilling installment of: ON WRITING!

The Writer's Digest Guide to Science Fiction & Fantasy

I have found very few how-to-write books purely on fantasy and few of those have been as useful to me and as inspiring as this one. It even breaks down the rules of some of those medieval institutions upon which so many fantasy novels rely - manoralism, feudalism, etc. A very cool read.

Thus quototh the book: 'In fantasy, more than in any other form of fiction, the reader must feel transported to the world being created, while at the same time readily comprehending what it is he is experiencing. When an otherworldly character is introduced, the reader must be made to see the differences, but must recognise the similarities as well. Dtails ground the story's larger images and keep the reader engaged'.

I thoroughly recommend this work.

Physical description is not a dirty word

I've noticed that a lot of novels are starting to shy away from description, particularly in fantasy. They want to avoid the 'He was tall and slender with long black hair pulled into a pony tail and piercing grey eyes'. That's an understandable desire. However, you don't HAVE to describe people like that. People try to portray either their ideal or real selves through what they wear, how they style their hair, their make-up, and their posturing. Other people take what they look like and then make their own assumptions based on that.

Crime novels, in particular, have learned the art of describing personality through appearance, often giving a double whammy of describing both the POV and the described person at the same time.

Her eyes, on any other woman, would have been considered a warm brown. Somehow, set in her weathered face, surrounded by frown lines and lips pulled thin through years of disapproval, those eyes had all the warmth of a long-dead corpse left out in the sun.

Okay, that description is a fairly colorful one, but you get the point. Imagine that the POV is describing his mother ... his mentor ... his nemesis ... the Queen. It puts twists on each one of them. It describes the relationship, his assumptions, and a bit about the personality of the other character.

I like personal description. They build character. Don't fear it. Do find your own spin on it.

Giving A Sense of Place through Description

This year I've been reading widely across genres. I've read an Ed McBain (Crime), Brent Weeks and five Robin Hobb books (fantasy), a Dan Abnett Warhammer 40k novel (science fiction / horor / crime), a Dan Simmons (historical / horror), two Edwin Thomas (crime / historical / comedy) and a Lilith Saintcrow (urban fantasy / cyberpunk). Each of these authors have very different styles but I think I've finally noted what it is that draws a sense of place.

Telling Details

You've doubtless heard of this term before but I don't think I've ever fully realized until now what it means. It's description as clue. Each line fulfills multiple functions. It is even better if each line is precise. Rather than a few vague, sweeping descriptive sentences ("The officer sat fearfully behind the desk in the enormous waiting area, watching over both the large, double doors and the sweeping staircase") it builds in a few precise details that can suggest the rest ("The officer sat stock still and sweating behind the steel folding table in a corner of the enormous lobby, watching over the large mahogany doors and the sweeping marble staircase"). The reasons why the second line is better are multiple:

* Precision in that second line aids author credibility. Authors that speak with precision suggest that they've put a lot of thought into the description. It wasn't just the first thing that flew off the keyboard. So, don't say desk when you mean table. Don't say waiting area when you mean lobby.

* The Description gives a clue to the character's personality or mood. My example line of description suggests fear though the personality clue isn't as strong here as it could be. Perhaps not the POV's fear, but a sense of fear surrounding him/her. The minor character is quite stressed and awkward, the description makes him sound almost caged in.

* The Description assists the reader to make assumptions. The officer seems anxious, which suggests that he fears trouble. Whether the trouble is a superior officer or an oncoming war isn't mentioned. The clash of the table compared to the building gives a clue that perhaps the mansion wasn't always housing officers. Perhaps it was commandeered to the purpose..

* The Description allows the reader to make assumptions. I don't need to belabor the point on how this place is quite rich. I don't need to describe the oil paintings on the wall or the heavy velvet curtains. The readers can assume based on the staircase and the large doors. If there weren't any paintings on the walls, but there was dusty or faded squares of paint where paintings once hung, then that would be a valid and useful telling detail.

* Foreshadows the future. The location isn't safe. People aren't comfortable. It suggests oncoming trouble.

* A sense of history. There is a clash here between what was (a mansion) and what is now (the entrance hall hastily turned into a lobby) and this is shown also through the clashing descriptive elements. Notice how the clue is there and ready to be built upon. I didn't need to begin the scene with information on how 'Ever since the mansion was commandeered three years ago by the harsh commander so-and-so, the officers have been nervously tip toeing around'. I could simply show, bit by bit, through each descriptive element, dialogue, etc. the same thing.

So remember, when writing your description to check if it is precise, provides a clue (foreshadowing, personality, mood), and has a sense of history. Each line doesn't need to do all of these things but the more that the lines, or paragraphs, of description achieve, the better things are.